Wedding 1: Civil Ceremony

Posted on by May 26, 2018
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Mothers preparing the groom.

Friday dawned gray, cool and rainy, a classic May day in Northern England.  We walked over to The Sun Pavilion under umbrellas around 12:30 PM and mingled with family and friends.  Rain, in Hindu tradition we learned, is a good omen on wedding day as it promises fertility and prosperity—in fact, a monsoon is thought to be perfect.  

Chairs on covered porch, awaiting the wedding.

 

 

 

 

The ceremony took place outdoors on a covered porch.  Attire was “English formal”, giving the men a clear advantage with their long pants and suit coats in the 50 F temps and stiff breeze, while the ladies scrambled for shawls and sweaters but mostly just endured the elements in slim-strapped dresses.  A local civic official presided over the ceremony.

Iinteresting fact:  English civil marriage ceremonies are strictly non-religious, so much so that a proposed poem containing the word “blessing” was nixed by the presiding official.

You won’t find the word “blessing” on the wedding program.

The male advantage ended with the signing of the marriage certificate, as the fathers of the bride and groom remained seated while the mothers signed the marriage certificate along side the bride and groom.  Isn’t England a patrilineal society?  Why were the dads left out?  The answer was obvious—but only after it was explained to me:  one’s mum is not in doubt, whereas one’s dad, well, do we ever know for sure???

 

Assembled friends.

Abi and Geeta scramble to photograph the bride

 

 

The ceremony was forthright and brief, the prelude to hugs, happy chatter, champagne, dinner and dancing that carried on til midnight.  One question remained:  were Nick and Aditi REALLY married?  With a Hindu wedding coming up in two days (and an Episcopal ceremony in San Diego in October), which ceremony would be the real deal??

Signed and civil!

Royal Lineage

Posted on by May 25, 2018
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We dropped into The Montpelier Pub after meeting Aditi and helping with some wedding setup.  It was late afternoon and seemed the perfect time to “stop for a pint,” just like our favorite BBC detectives do after work.

The pub keeper was a friendly chap and immediately recognized our non-standard speech—he guessed we were Americans.  We had a chat, and Betsy decided he was the guy to answer a pressing question:  why in BBC detective shows do ordinary Inspectors call a woman Chief Inspector “Mum?”  Is it a term of respect or is she, like, considered to be their mother?  And, by the way, Betsy mused, what makes the Queen Mum a “mum” to the British public?

His explanation was straight-forward if subtle for an American commoner’s ear to comprehend.  “Mum” when addressing one’s superior is actually “Ma’am”, a term of respect, while “Mum” is the same as “Mom” when speaking to one’s mother.  

The Queen Mum, of course, is “Ma’am”, and is used to distinguish the mother of the current Queen or King, even though she herself was never in the royal lineage.  For example, Diana, if she were still alive, would become Queen Mum at such time as her oldest son, William, became king.

This led to the next obvious question:  under what terms might Meghan Markle became Queen Mum?

“Never!” replied our friend quite emphatically.  “Prince William has three sons!”

But what if Prince William and his family were flying to the British Virgin Islands for vacation and their plane crashed?  Wouldn’t that make Andrew the First Prince, and therefore his son the royal lineage, and therefore Ms. Markle a future Queen Mum?

The  pub keeper explained to us that an old friend of his had been an RAF pilot, and was an OUTSTANDING pilot, so much so that he was now the personal pilot for the royal family, or at least in charge of their aviation, and that such a plane crash could never happen while he was at the controls.

And that, my friends, is why Meghan Markle will never become Queen Mum!

To Harrogate

Posted on by May 25, 2018
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Manchester cranes mark a city on the move.

We arrived at Manchester International at 8:30 AM, walked through a skyway to the train station and boarded a train for Leeds.  We felt alert after 5 or 6 hours sleep on the plane, and the transition was smooth, the train on time.  We viewed Manchester through a train window and we saw construction cranes everywhere, intriguing modern buildings juxtaposed with dignified historic ones.  Manchester looked like a city on the move.

I cleverly put my camera on “selfie” to take a discreet shot of the train. Apparently, not everyone was fooled!

After an hour, we changed trains at Leeds and 30 minutes later arrived in Harrogate, the site of the civil service also known as “Wedding 1” .  “Wedding 2”, the Hindu ceremony, would be at Shrigley Hall south of Manchester two days later.  

We rolled our luggage a half mile to the White Hart, where a room was ready for us, and soon thereafter walked through Harrogate’s much-loved Valley Gardens to The Sun Pavilion where wedding preparations were underway.  Jay and Sarah greeted us, and we were introduced to Aditi, the bride, and her wonderful family.  They had much to do, and managed to combine industriousness and sociability effortlessly.  We tried to make ourselves useful as we basked in the spirit of welcoming family and an upcoming wedding.  It was a lovely, sunny afternoon.

Jay and Betsy catch up.